On Y Kant Tori Read

"You should see the album cover for my hairspray if nothing else."

"I wish I could get into those plastic snake pants again!"

“Critics ripped the record to shreds. I had my whole self-worth tied up in what I did. I was 24 and asking: Where do I stand with myself?”

“Do you know the cover? I wish that the LP would sound the way the cover looks. The record is just not heavy. It doesn’t have a clear statement. I mean, when someone plays Thrash Metal, then that has a point of view. And even if this thrash consists of nothing but noise, that has a point of view. That should be the point of every publication. Take a clear position, if you want to make noise, do it, if you only want to be cute, that’s also okay. But at the time the album was created, I was not able to take a clear position. If I had to take a position, I would have had to have it out with myself, but I was much too busy to suppress things like the rape. I could not sing about it. Only in August last year I was able to write Me and A Gun. Before, it was simply impossible. When we started to record the album five years ago, the rape only happened one year before. The record was published and died four years ago. By the way, the drummer of the band was Matt Sorum. Joe Chiccarelli produced and I really liked his productions, but just before the recordings the band split up, we took studio musicians and so the songs lost their direction. I believe that the record has its moments, but I tried too much to be everybody’s girl, because I was not able to listen to myself. You just have to be strong and not only pretending. It is simple to play a tough chick, but it is really boring and, above all, it is sad, because it shows a deep uncertainty, and when you are uncertain, you can not be strong.”

“I wish I would have been stronger then and had not listened to those idiots. One day they tell you how wonderful your record is, and when the sales figures failed to materialize, the same thing suddenly is shit.”

“They called me a bimbo in Billboard. I walked into this restaurant and saw an acquaintance, and I went over to the table, and he was, like, pretending he didn’t know me. And I felt these snickers ‘cause my hair was totally pumped up six feet high, and I had my plastic boots that went up to my thigh and my little miniskirt. And I understood for the first time that I was a joke. And I walked out of that room going, ‘They can laugh at me, but I’m walking out of this place with dignity. Hair spray and all.’”

“The band was together for about two years. We rehearsed three times a week and only played one gig. That’s all we did - we stayed in the rehearsal studio, made a tape, got signed, and split up. As a writer, I didn’t know what I wanted to express, really, at that point. I can say this now - I couldn’t say it then - that I wasn’t doing it for the love of music. I was doing it because I had something to prove to the boys who trashed me when I was 13. ‘We’re not looking for this.’ ‘It’s dated.’ ‘Do dance music.’ ‘Get a rock band.’ And after six years of rejection, I started listening to them. The positive thing is, I play the piano much differently today because of that experience. I led myself to believe that, because I’d been playing the piano since I was 2½ I could play anything. But that didn’t mean that I was any good at it. That didn’t mean it was coming from here [she points to her stomach]. If it’s not coming from here, you smell it. There’s nothing worse than seeing a kid play dress-up just to please Aunt Louise. It’s awful if they don’t do it because they want to do it. At that point in my life I was on auto-pilot. My self-worth was all wrapped up in whether or not this thing was a success. I didn’t really consider the girl in all of this. I didn’t understand that I was a girl until four years ago. I was just a musician who became very needy. That’s the hardest thing with musicians, I think, is that we’re so sensitive. We start listening to other people. How much can you take before you start asking yourself, ‘Maybe they’re right?’ How many years can you take it? Seven? Twenty? Two? You lose faith in what you’re doing.”

"I think that when I dissed the whole thing, it's not fair to the people that put in their time and there are moments that work in every work, usually. If it comes from someone who has a catalogue, there's usually something in their early work that can't completely be mutilated. And there are moments that I think were right for the time on Y Kant Tori Read. I think Cool On Your Island had moments that were right for 1987, which was when I recorded it."

"Well Y Kant Tori Read was a pivotal point for me as a writer. Some of the things on it work, some of them don't. Cool On Your Island works more than anything else, and I wrote that, I think, with Kim Bullard, but you'll have to check the credits because I've been using too much deodorant lately."

"It was a different time; I was in a different place. Everything was over the top -- the high hair, everything. I was shopping at Retail Slut. If you ever hear the album, though, skip to Cool on Your Island. She likes that one."